<p>When a service doesn’t meet your expectations, you have every right to speak up. However, it’s important to remember that the manner in which your complaint is communicated can influence how effectively it gets resolved. In this interview, <a href="https://www.diamondcertified.org/expert/joy-lanzaro/" target="_self">Joy Lanzaro</a>, director of mediation and compliance at American Ratings Corporation, explains how you can raise concerns while maintaining a productive relationship with your service provider.<br><br><strong>Q: What makes a business owner or employee defensive when a customer raises a complaint?</strong><br>A: Defensiveness often occurs when someone feels like their character, competence or integrity is being questioned. Personal attacks, assumptions about someone’s intentions and lengthy reactions that leave little room for clarification can shut down productive communication. Ultimately, businesses are made up of people, so the same principles that apply to other interpersonal relationships apply here.<br><br><strong>Q: How can a customer open the conversation in a positive way?</strong><br>A: Start by adopting a cooperative mindset. If you’re angry, take some time to cool down before initiating the conversation. Assume good intentions and recognize that you may not have the entire picture. For example, there may be technical information or other circumstances that you aren’t aware of. Suspend judgment and approach the conversation with a sincere desire to work together.<br><br><strong>Q: What words or phrases tend to escalate a complaint, even when the customer’s frustration is justified?</strong><br>A: Phrases like “you didn’t do this” or “you did that” personalize the problem instead of focusing on the facts. Overly formal or legalistic language can also create an adversarial tone and make a service provider feel like they’re being drawn into a legal dispute.<br><br><strong>Q: How can someone describe their problem in writing without sounding accusatory?</strong><br>A: Maintain the same conversational tone you used before the problem occurred. A sudden shift to lengthy, formal or legalistic language can communicate distrust. Instead, clearly describe what happened, what you expected, and what you’d like to accomplish while maintaining the idea that you and the company share the goal of resolving the issue.<br><br><strong>Q: What’s the best way to ask for a specific resolution without sounding demanding or entitled?</strong><br>A: Take a posture of curiosity. Explain the outcome you’re hoping for and ask, “What’s it going to take to make that happen?” This gives the service provider a solvable problem rather than a demand.<br><br><strong>Q: How should a customer respond if the business denies responsibility, minimizes the problem or becomes defensive?</strong><br>A: Consider why the provider is becoming defensive and make sure you’re listening to their explanation. Your expectation may exceed the contract, require additional work or be technically impossible. If communication is simply moving slowly, clearly and respectfully ask for more timely responses.<br><br><strong>Q: When should a complaint move from an informal conversation to a written message or a formal dispute process?</strong><br>A: Escalation may be appropriate when communication reaches a standstill or you realize you’re speaking with someone who doesn’t have decision-making authority. Written communication is also useful before a dispute escalates when a complicated problem involves dates, observations or other details that both parties need to track.<br><br><strong>Q: Can you give an example of an ineffective complaint and show how it could be reframed to get a more productive response?</strong><br>A: Instead of asking an accusatory question like, “Why isn’t this done yet?” try asking, “What’s it going to take to get this completed?” The concern itself is reasonable, but reframing it as a “what” question can get the information you need without immediately putting the other person on the defensive. </p>
The Art of the Polite Complaint: How to Get a Company’s Attention Without Triggering Defensiveness
When a service doesn’t meet your expectations, you have every right to speak up. However, it’s important to remember that the manner in which your complaint is communicated can influence how effectively it gets resolved. In this interview, Joy Lanzaro, director of mediation and compliance at American Ratings Corporation, explains how you can raise concerns while maintaining a productive relationship with your service provider.
Q: What makes a business owner or employee defensive when a customer raises a complaint?
A: Defensiveness often occurs when someone feels like their character, competence or integrity is being questioned. Personal attacks, assumptions about someone’s intentions and lengthy reactions that leave little room for clarification can shut down productive communication. Ultimately, businesses are made up of people, so the same principles that apply to other interpersonal relationships apply here.
Q: How can a customer open the conversation in a positive way?
A: Start by adopting a cooperative mindset. If you’re angry, take some time to cool down before initiating the conversation. Assume good intentions and recognize that you may not have the entire picture. For example, there may be technical information or other circumstances that you aren’t aware of. Suspend judgment and approach the conversation with a sincere desire to work together.
Q: What words or phrases tend to escalate a complaint, even when the customer’s frustration is justified?
A: Phrases like “you didn’t do this” or “you did that” personalize the problem instead of focusing on the facts. Overly formal or legalistic language can also create an adversarial tone and make a service provider feel like they’re being drawn into a legal dispute.
Q: How can someone describe their problem in writing without sounding accusatory?
A: Maintain the same conversational tone you used before the problem occurred. A sudden shift to lengthy, formal or legalistic language can communicate distrust. Instead, clearly describe what happened, what you expected, and what you’d like to accomplish while maintaining the idea that you and the company share the goal of resolving the issue.
Q: What’s the best way to ask for a specific resolution without sounding demanding or entitled?
A: Take a posture of curiosity. Explain the outcome you’re hoping for and ask, “What’s it going to take to make that happen?” This gives the service provider a solvable problem rather than a demand.
Q: How should a customer respond if the business denies responsibility, minimizes the problem or becomes defensive?
A: Consider why the provider is becoming defensive and make sure you’re listening to their explanation. Your expectation may exceed the contract, require additional work or be technically impossible. If communication is simply moving slowly, clearly and respectfully ask for more timely responses.
Q: When should a complaint move from an informal conversation to a written message or a formal dispute process?
A: Escalation may be appropriate when communication reaches a standstill or you realize you’re speaking with someone who doesn’t have decision-making authority. Written communication is also useful before a dispute escalates when a complicated problem involves dates, observations or other details that both parties need to track.
Q: Can you give an example of an ineffective complaint and show how it could be reframed to get a more productive response?
A: Instead of asking an accusatory question like, “Why isn’t this done yet?” try asking, “What’s it going to take to get this completed?” The concern itself is reasonable, but reframing it as a “what” question can get the information you need without immediately putting the other person on the defensive.
