Active Listening: The Quiet Skill That Resolves Loud Conflicts

<img src="https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/dcr-apis/wp_contents/uploads/DCR-ADMIN/active%20listening.jpeg" alt="undefined" style="height: auto;width: auto"/> In business disputes, the difference between escalation and resolution often comes down to one overlooked skill: active listening. While it sounds simple, it’s actually a structured approach that helps uncover the root of conflict and guide both sides toward a meaningful outcome. In this interview, <a href="https://www.diamondcertified.org/expert/joy-lanzaro/" target="_self">Joy Lanzaro</a>, director of mediation and compliance at American Ratings Corporation, shares how it works and why it matters. Caitlyn Stair: How do you define active listening in conflict resolution? Joy Lanzaro: Active listening is the combination of verbal and nonverbal cues that show you’re truly following and understanding the speaker. That can be as simple as a nod or as structured as reflecting back what you’ve heard. It’s critical because resolving conflict requires understanding the other person’s experience—what expectations weren’t met and where things went sideways. It creates a shared starting point and prevents assumptions, which are often the roots of conflict. CS: What does active listening look like when emotions are high? JL: It starts with your stance—remaining neutral, curious and genuinely interested. I rely on questions like, “Am I understanding this correctly?” to avoid assumptions. It’s also important to acknowledge emotional impact, like, “I hear how upsetting this is” or “That sounds frustrating.” When people feel seen, their emotional temperature lowers. CS: What techniques help people feel heard? JL: It’s a combination of habits. Nonverbal cues show engagement, and I reflect back on what I’m hearing throughout the conversation (“Here’s what I have so far…”). I also take notes and read them back at the end. That helps people feel complete and often brings out important details. Altogether, it communicates, “I see you, I hear you and I understand.” CS: How does this move conflict toward resolution? JL: Active listening lowers defensiveness. When someone doesn’t have to fight to be understood, they can shift into problem-solving. It also creates a shared understanding so you’re not operating on different versions of reality. From there, solutions feel more organic and aligned with what both sides actually need. CS: Can you share a common outcome of active listening? JL: In many disputes, reflecting back on each side’s perspective strips away assumptions. When people hear their own words organized and confirmed, the core issue becomes clearer. Sometimes I’ll point out inconsistencies by saying, “These can’t both be true,” and that clarity shifts the conversation. CS: What are some simple phrases that people can use to practice active listening? JL: Try, “Here’s what I’m hearing…did I get that right?” or “Am I understanding correctly?” Also name emotions: “That sounds frustrating.” And don’t underestimate simple language: “I hear you, I’m with you.” When you use small phrases consistently, they make a big impact.

Active Listening: The Quiet Skill That Resolves Loud Conflicts

by Caitlyn Stair

May 5, 2026

In business disputes, the difference between escalation and resolution often comes down to one overlooked skill: active listening. While it sounds simple, it’s actually a structured approach that helps uncover the root of conflict and guide both sides toward a meaningful outcome. In this interview, Joy Lanzaro, director of mediation and compliance at American Ratings Corporation, shares how it works and why it matters.

Caitlyn Stair: How do you define active listening in conflict resolution?
Joy Lanzaro: Active listening is the combination of verbal and nonverbal cues that show you’re truly following and understanding the speaker. That can be as simple as a nod or as structured as reflecting back what you’ve heard. It’s critical because resolving conflict requires understanding the other person’s experience—what expectations weren’t met and where things went sideways. It creates a shared starting point and prevents assumptions, which are often the roots of conflict.

CS: What does active listening look like when emotions are high?
JL: It starts with your stance—remaining neutral, curious and genuinely interested. I rely on questions like, “Am I understanding this correctly?” to avoid assumptions. It’s also important to acknowledge emotional impact, like, “I hear how upsetting this is” or “That sounds frustrating.” When people feel seen, their emotional temperature lowers.

CS: What techniques help people feel heard?
JL: It’s a combination of habits. Nonverbal cues show engagement, and I reflect back on what I’m hearing throughout the conversation (“Here’s what I have so far…”). I also take notes and read them back at the end. That helps people feel complete and often brings out important details. Altogether, it communicates, “I see you, I hear you and I understand.”

CS: How does this move conflict toward resolution?
JL: Active listening lowers defensiveness. When someone doesn’t have to fight to be understood, they can shift into problem-solving. It also creates a shared understanding so you’re not operating on different versions of reality. From there, solutions feel more organic and aligned with what both sides actually need.

CS: Can you share a common outcome of active listening?
JL: In many disputes, reflecting back on each side’s perspective strips away assumptions. When people hear their own words organized and confirmed, the core issue becomes clearer. Sometimes I’ll point out inconsistencies by saying, “These can’t both be true,” and that clarity shifts the conversation.

CS: What are some simple phrases that people can use to practice active listening?
JL: Try, “Here’s what I’m hearing…did I get that right?” or “Am I understanding correctly?” Also name emotions: “That sounds frustrating.” And don’t underestimate simple language: “I hear you, I’m with you.” When you use small phrases consistently, they make a big impact.